Hogwarts Chatroom!
by Valentine's Riddle
Summary: Ginny is innocently chatting to Harry... or so she thinks. It seems that the anonymity of a pen-name has given certain pupils a lust for troublemaking... Sequels Madam Puddifoot's Chatroom and Chatroom Chaos are on my page. Please Rate and Review!


A/N- Another Oneshot! Another Draco/Ginny fight! Thanks to all the people who R&R'd last time. If I get enough people reading my stories, I'm thinking about doing a Lily/James chapter fic, so let me know of any ideas! Riddle x

Disclaimer: Only people who have never met me would think I'd have the brains to cook up the wonderous world of Harry Potter. It's not mine, I just wreak havoc in it. XD

Hogwarts Chatroom!

"Hogwarts for the new millennium"

That's what Dumbledore had said. It had seemed like a good idea at the time, but looking back on it now... well, how was he to know that installing the internet in the castle would cause detentions to triple and exam scores to halve, because his students were too busy on MSN Messenger to bother with that little thing known as writing? I mean, they all saw each other every day anyway!

But, Ginny Weasley had to admit that the internet had some uses- especially when it came to romance. Thanks to the anonymous list of email addresses and chat rooms on the notice board in the entrance hall, romantic frissons were no more than a mouse click away...

**LadyRed** has logged on.

Why wasn't anyone online? She looked at the forums. Empty, except for the half of the school she _didn't_ want to talk to.

**TheChosenOne** has logged on.

**LadyRed:** Jeez, Harry, what's with the username? Way to go about the whole "I don't want to draw attention to myself, I'm not that special" plan.

**TheChosenOne**: Well, you know me. Mediocre to the last degree, and yet I _always_ get the girl. Why is that, again?

**LadyRed: **I think you've had too much butterbeer, Harry. What's with you?

**TheChosenOne**: Answer the question, Weaslette!

**LadyRed**: WHAT?!?!

**TheChosenOne: **Only joking, I'm winding you up. Seriously, Ginny, what did I ever do to deserve you?

**LadyRed: **God, Harry, this is the weirdest conversation ever. Why don't you just ask me face to face? Besides, I thought we were on a break anyway.

**TheChosenOne: **I can't ask you face to face. Just answer?

**LadyRed: **Well, you're sweet, kind, funny and always respect me. You can be my best friend when you want and my lover when I need you. You're one of the bravest people I know, and yet you don't draw attention to that fact. I also think it's really funny that half of the girls in our school are in love with you and you don't even know it!

**TheChosenOne: **Seriously? Like half the girls in our school? I thought Malfoy was the school heartbreaker.

**LadyRed: **Well, he's got the style, but not the substance, if you know what I mean. Girls get in so far then think, "Oh, dear God, I've fallen for a ferret whose hair gel gives me a migraine"

**TheChosenOne: **Bitch.

**TheChosenOne: **I mean, in the best possible way.

**LadyRed: **Harry? You're being so weird.

**TheChosenOne: **No, I'm not.

**LadyRed: **Bitch? Weaslette? And I thought you were in detention with Slughorn, anyway.

**TheChosenOne: **What? Oh, I mean, I am. I'm redoing a project for him.

**LadyRed: **Ok...

**TheChosenOne: **Ok, let's talk dirty.

**LadyRed: **WHAAAT???

**TheChosenOne: **Or not, it's your choice.

**LadyRed: **LOL. I think.

**TheChosenOne:** Ginny, a quick question.

**LadyRed:** What?

**TheChosenOne: **Say another guy asked you out now...

**LadyRed: **Hmm...

**TheChosenOne: **Would you say yes?

**LadyRed: **What do you mean?

**TheChosenOne: **Since we're semi-broken up and all.

**LadyRed: **Well, I never said I wouldn't wait for you. Besides, we make up for our separation, don't we? ;)

**TheChosenOne**: What?!

**LadyRed: **Well, for a guy who supposedly wanted to break up, you certainly enjoy our little Room of Requirement- hang on.

**TheChosenOne: **What?

**LadyRed: **How can you be in here talking to me, and practising Quidditch at the same time?

**TheChosenOne:** What? I'm not practising Quidditch.

**LadyRed: **If you're not practising Quidditch, I hate to think what you're doing with that poor snitch.

**TheChosenOne:** Er-

**WeasleyIsMyKing** has logged on.

**LadyRed: **Hermione! Some freak has logged on as Harry!

**TheChosenOne: **Hey!

**WeasleyIsMyKing: **Who the hell ARE you?? And Ginny, avoid the common room, Dean's smashing up stuff again.

**LadyRed: **God, he took it badly, didn't he? Did you see what he did to that photo of the two of us? What a freak. How did I survive six months with him?

**WeasleyIsMyKing: **I always _did _say that you deserved better.

**TheChosenOne: **So you chose POTTER?!

**LadyRed: **SHUT UP. You can't think he's THAT bad, you're pretending to _be_ him!

**TheChosenOne**: I only wanted to find out how much you liked him!

**LadyRed:**WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?

**LunaLovegood** has logged on.

**LunaLovegood: **Ginny? What on Earth's the matter?

**LadyRed: **Some freakish pervert has been stalking me! I'm trying to find out who it is.

**WeasleyIsMyKing: **Ginny, I understand your concern for finding out who this person is, but you're supposed to meet Harry in ten minutes, remember? In the-

**ChudleyCannons** has logged on.

**LadyRed:** Yes, THANK YOU, Hermione.

**TheChosenOne:** Ooh, is the Weaslette going to have a little dirty secret in the-

**LadyRed: **SHUT UP!

**LunaLovegood: **Hello, Ronald. And this stalker of yours, Ginny, just ignore him. He's very rude, isn't he?

**WeasleyIsMyKing: **How do we know it's a he?

**LadyRed: **!!!!!!!!!!!! Are you saying I have a lesbian stalker?!

**ChudleyCannons: **You know, I forgot I have a- thing- to do in the... Nevermind.

**ChudleyCannons **has logged off.

**TheChosenOne: **I _am_ a boy.

**LadyRed: **Whoopee...

**LunaLovegood: **You know, excessive sarcasm is a sign that you might be infected with Ragglepox. It's-

**TheChosenOne: **You know, maybe the whole "Loony Lovegood" thing wasn't totally undeserved.

**WeasleyIsMyKing: **Slytherin. Definitely a Slytherin. Or a mean Gryffindor.

**LadyRed: **But all the Gryffindor boys I normally talk to are watching Harry on the pitch. I can _see_ them.

**TheChosenOne: **Yeah, and you've dated all of them already. They'd hardly need to ask questions about your sex life, would they?

**LadyRed: **HOW DARE YOU!!

**LunaLovegood: **Ginny, would you like some fried newt? It's supposed to be very good for temper tantrums caused by the onset of-

**LadyRed: **SHUT UP, Luna!!

**WeasleyIsMyKing: **Luna, the medical diagnosis isn't going to help. Ginny's just PMS-ing.

**LunaLovegood: **It's quite alright, you two. Hang on, I'll be back in a minute, I just saw Terry Boot, and I want my copy of _Advanced Numerology _back. Ta ta for now.

**LunaLovegood** has logged off.

**LadyRed: **I love Luna, but she's SO-

**TheChosenOne: **Loony?

**LadyRed: **How DARE YOU! Luna is worth-

**WeasleyIsMyKing: **Ginny, stop yelling at everyone. Imposter, stop pissing everyone off and go away.

**TheChosenOne:** Hey, how is THAT fair? The Weaslette's the one-

**LadyRed**: AHA! He IS a Slytherin!

**WeasleyIsMyKing: **No, Zacharias Smith calls you that too, remember.

**LadyRed: **He wouldn't want to know about my sex life, he's one of those boys who's sexuality is constantly under question.

**WeasleyIsMyKing: **Like Malfoy?

**LadyRed: **LOL!

**TheChosenOne: **OI!

**WeasleyIsMyKing: **OH MY GOD!

**LadyRed: **No WAY!!

**TheChosenOne **has logged off.

**WeasleyIsMyKing: **Was that...?

**LadyRed: **I need a Firewhiskey.

**WeasleyIsMyKing: **Is he on drugs, do you think?

**LadyRed: **Are you saying I'm not pretty enough to seduce Draco Malfoy?

**WeasleyIsMyKing: **No! I was just-

**LunaLovegood** has logged on.

**LunaLovegood: **How very odd.

**LadyRed: **What?

**LunaLovegood: **I just saw Draco Malfoy with a copy of the conversation we just had.

**LadyRed: **What the HELL? What can he be thinking?

**WeasleyIsMyKing: **I don't like this.

**SlytherinPrince** has logged on.

**LadyRed: **Oh, look who the cat dragged in.

**SlytherinPrince: **I wouldn't be so cheeky if I were you, Weaslette.

**WeasleyIsMyKing: **I _knew_ it was a Slytherin.

**LadyRed: **WHAT DO YOU WANT, FERRET?!

**SlytherinPrince: **A date. Next Hogsmeade weekend, when Potter's in detention with Slughorn.

**LadyRed: **...

**WeasleyIsMyKing: **???

**LunaLovegood**: Oh, very good, Draconius. I never took you to be a joker.

**SlytherinPrince: **I'm deadly serious.

**LadyRed: **And what makes you think I'll go on a date with you?

**SlytherinPrince: **I happen to have a copy of the conversation we just had- only the beginning, and my username has been changed, of course.

**LadyRed: **So? You're not making any sense.

**SlytherinPrince: **Well, I've done a little... doctoring, shall we say. You wouldn't want Scarhead to see it, would you?

**LadyRed: **But I thought you were Harry when I said that stuff! He'll realise that. It's obvious I'm talking about him.

**SlytherinPrince: "**Well, you're sweet, kind, funny and always respect me. You can be my best friend when you want and my lover when I need you. You're one of the bravest people I know, and yet you don't draw attention to that fact. I also think it's really funny that half of the girls in our school are in love with you and you don't even know it!"

**WeaslyIsMyKing: **Oh, Ginny, I always _knew_ you and Harry were perfect together.

**LadyRed: **This is coming from _you_, Malfoy, he'll never believe it.

**SlytherinPrince: **It isn't coming from me. He's going to the Room of Requirement now, he'll find it on that cute velvet sofa you two are so fond of...

**LadyRed: **HOW DID YOU- never mind. I don't want to know. He won't believe it. He trusts me.

**SlytherinPrince: **It's even in your cute personalized font! Totally authentic. What would your childhood sweetheart think about _that_, I suppose?

**WeasleyIsMyKing: **...

**LunaLovegood: **That's not very nice.

**LadyRed: **...

**LadyRed: **That's it. I'm going to go to the Room of Requirement right now with a copy of our conversation and wait for Harry to get there.

**SlytherinPrince: **Not if I get there and put it down and lock the room against you!

**LadyRed: **How are you going to get there before me?

**SlytherinPrince: **I'll give you a hint. I'm not in the Slytherin Common Room. Take a guess as to where I _really_ am, Weaslette.

**LunaLovegood: **It's true, Ginny. He was heading towards the seventh floor when I saw him.

**LadyRed: **YOU STUPID, STUCK UP, BIGOTED, MANIPULATIVE-

**SlytherinPrince: **Happy to please.

**LadyRed: **-BIGHEADED, EGOTISTICAL, HEARTLESS, SEXIST-

**WeasleyIsMyKing: **Ginny! You aren't helping!

**LadyRed: **Yeah, but it makes me feel better.

**WeasleyIsMyKing: **Look, let's just sort this out. Malfoy?

**SlytherinPrince: **Yes?

**WeasleyIsMyKing: **One date with Ginny, and you will destroy all evidence of that conversation?

**SlytherinPrince: **Yes.

**WeasleyIsMyKing: **And not mention ANYTHING about said date to ANYONE except the three of us?

**SlytherinPrince: **Yes.

**WeasleyIsMyKing: **And not make any passes at her?

**SlytherinPrince:** Well-

**LadyRed: **MALFOY!!

**SlytherinPrince: **Yes.

**WeasleyIsMyKing: **Ginny? What do you say?

**LadyRed**: YOU'D BETTER SLEEP WITH YOUR EYES OPEN, MALFOY!

**SlytherinPrince: **See you on Saturday, then, Weaslette. ;)

**SlytherinPrince** has logged off.

**LadyRed: **I'm going to go smash up something.

**GryffindorCptn** has logged on.

**LadyRed **has logged off.

**WeasleyIsMyKing **has logged off.

**LunaLovegood** has logged off.

**GryffindorCptn: **Hey, where did everybody go?!


End file.
